Wednesday, June 24, 2015

What if Two Teen Reality Stars Wrote a Novel?

Celebrities write books. Not just biographies, either. In fact, quite a few Hollywood actors and actresses have published novels. Jamie Lee Curtis is a prolific children's author.



So is The Fonz.



After a brief career as an actress in the 80s and 90s, Harley Jane Kozak formed a very serious career as a novelist. In fact, of all of them, she seems to be the only one who considers herself more author than actor.



The three mentioned above deserve all their successes. They take being writers seriously. But when I read that two young reality stars had written a young adult dystopian novel, I cringed. I'm sure I missed it when the book launch was announced. I think we all did. These are the authors:



They are the youngest stars of this TV series:



They are the (proud?) authors of this colon-happy novel:



Rebels: City of Indra: The Story of Lex and Livia has 160 customer reviews on Amazon. The vast majority of those reviewers give it one star. Yet one of the K-girl authors (can't keep any of the Kardashians straight) said, "The fans seem to love it. That’s why we did it, [the characters]' names are Lex and Livia. I think we wanted to make Lex more like me and Livia more like Kendall, and they kind of evolved into their own characters."



I would never discourage a young person from writing unless the only reason is because you're so great, you know your fans will want to read about fictional characters just like you. Oh, and if you do release a novel, try to look a little less like you're being forced to promote it.



But I'd say the reviews speak for themselves. Especially this jewel from Amazon reviewer Transgrade:


Gotta love a funny bad review (unless it's about your book).

58 comments:

  1. Thanks for making me laugh! I will be giving this one a miss.

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    1. Me, too! Glad Transgrade read it so that we don't have to.

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  2. The review does say it all. What a waste of paper...

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    1. And I had to go look. What's sad is it's still actually selling. Really?

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    2. They were able to convince their fans to die their hair gray. Apparently there's an entire generation who will buy whatever the Kardashians are selling.

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  3. Oh brother! Is that show still on?

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  4. Crapdashians make me happy for not having a TV in my palace....
    And there were nine people who didn't find that review helpful??? How many members Crapdashians have? Nine?

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    1. If you count spouses, more than that! Maybe Kanye was one of those nine. Hey, he has a "K" name, too.

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  5. My son went to a Slayer concert last week and saw a T-shirt that sums up my feelings about that family: "Kill the Kardashians."

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    1. Haha! Someone has made all those people famous. Who signed off on that decision? It wasn't any of us!

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  6. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz...
    Hugs,
    JB

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  7. Is this seriously a novel? I hope the phone dropping into the pool wasn't the actual climax. lol Oh no, out of kale?

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    1. I'm not sure how much of his description was real or exaggeration...I guess we'll never know because I know none of us are going to read it! Too many real books out there for us to waste our time on that nonsense.

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  8. Lol! People will buy anything.

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    1. So true! People think, "I want to read a book" and they pick up something written by someone whose name they know. Doesn't matter if that person has talent or not...it's just familiar.

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  9. ha that review! Ugh I knew they wrote a book but had no idea they tried to do a dystopian thing. my brain hurts...I def have a loathing for any celeb writing a book (unless a) they TRULY seem to care about writing, or b) it's non fiction since obviously they have a platform) but this makes me queasy lol...also the YouTubers writing books affected me personally...Zoe Sugg's book was very similar to mine and broke records and I wrote mine first and went on sub way before her book hit shelves...very depressing since I didn't think mine would come out after that since it was really similar, but thankfully i was wrong! I think the worst celeb's book has to be Snookie's page turned "Gorilla Beach" hahaha

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    1. If they want to write a how-to book or a book offering beauty tips for teens, go for it. But fiction? You know the whole thing was ghostwritten!

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  10. Okay, I had to go look it up to see if that really is what the book is about or if it was a joke. But I still don't know! The description on Amazon and GR says almost nothing other than who the Jenner girls are.

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    1. I guess they just assume nobody really needs to know the plot to make a decision. Or maybe that's a sign the plot is so bad, they can't put it into words that would make it sound appealing.

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  11. Anything I guess to keep their name(s) in the spot light and public eye I guess. I think I'll pass on this book though. Hope they don't decide it is noteworthy to make a series of books about their characters.

    betty

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    1. That's the sad part. They didn't "write" it because they wanted to write a book. They just wanted another way to earn income and draw attention to themselves. They should have just written their life stories, as Justin Bieber did when he was all of 16 or whatever!

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  12. hahaha that review is perfect, read a bunch of the other ones and they were all pretty fun, in a bad way. Trying to suck more money out of "fans" for a pile of crap.

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    1. Sometimes bad reviews are fun to read! People get really creative with their insults.

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  13. Wow. Just wow. I really wish the culture of worshipping the pseudo celebrity would die a natural death.

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    1. Me too. These people are celebrities because someone put them on a reality show. That's why I don't keep up with entertainment anymore. If you're going to be famous, it should at least be for accomplishing something artistic or creative or inventing something that changes the world!

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  14. You know, when you revealed which two teen "celebrities" had written this book, all I could think was, what on earth is it about. What in the minds of these two girls, does a dystopia look like.

    After reading that review, now I know. It looks very much like their lives in not Dystopian, modern day L.A. Silly me.

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    1. I'm guessing they read Hunger Games and thought, "Hey, wouldn't it be fun to write a book like that?" Most teens have that thought and go on, but those girls snap their fingers and it happens.

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  15. You know, I don't mind when talented celebrities, like the first few you mentioned, get book deals. But it really bothers me that others, who can barely write two coherent sentences, get a book deal, just because of their celebrity status. People who deserve to be published, don't get the chance, because they don't have the big name.

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  16. Wow! This almost sounds so bad, it's worth reading.
    If that makes any sense.

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  17. "It has characters and was written using words..."

    That is my new favorite review of all time - too funny!!

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  18. What was some review. Bwahahahahahaha.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  19. Wow! Love Jamie Lee Curtis, though!

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  20. Oh my goodness, that's just painful. Makes me wonder if there was a ghostwriter involved (hah, I can't imagine there wasn't ;). I love the first three author/actors who care, but anyone from the K-family makes me raise an eyebrow.

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  21. That's It! I plan to marry some rich old Geezer, sell my soul to the devil to get on a reality show so i can finally sell a book and be known. These viruses must stop. They get a book publisyhed which we know is crap while so many great authors have such a hard time-shows how life is unfair. Be thankful that you still have your soul. Love that review

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  22. Oh dear. I strongly suspect the book is Krap (with a capital bejeweled K). Love the review.

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  23. Kardashians writing?!!? The mind boggles...

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  24. Jesus wept.

    Greetings from London.

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  25. I refuse to watch anything that involves that family.

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  26. That review is great. But I wonder if the reviewer is just being snarky or if that's actually what the book is about. Because people can be cruel just because someone is on TV.

    Not that I'm defending the book. I haven't read it. Don't plan to. But they're easy targets, and trolls are trolls even for those people who we may think deserve it.

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  27. That review made me cackle with joy. Surprisingly, Franklin didn't even look up. Could it be that he's gotten used to my cackle? I remember Harley. She was on Guiding Light, and then she had a pretty big part in the movie of Parenthood. I haven't seen her lately. I guess she's been busy writing. Good for her.

    Love,
    Janie

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  28. Oh my goodness Stephanie... the review was hilarious and I will definitely be missing that book... wow

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  29. I don't think you could pay me to read their book! proud to say I have never seen the show. Loved the review!

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  30. Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting! I'll have to mosey around your for a bit now.

    I had no idea Jamie Lee Curtis and Henry Winkler had written books. I'll have to look next time I'm in a bookstore.

    And I didn't want to have any idea about the Kardashians having written a book. However, the review writer has some potential as a comedian.

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  31. Hey Stephanie,

    Oh my and good grief! Such a thoughtful review and yes, another book to give a wide berth, right from the bottom down.

    Gary :)

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  32. LOVE the Hank Zipzer books from Henry Winkler. They're a fantastic hook for my 5th grade reluctant readers.

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  33. I enjoy the Hank Zipzer books as well as Julianne Moore's Freckleface books. Other than that, I've enjoyed celebrity autobiographies and humor books.

    I think I'll pass on this book.

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  34. I was happy to learn Jamie Lee Curtis and The Fonz are children's writers and I would bet they are great authors. As for the other too...that review says it all, it's hilarious. I still can't imagine how everyone in that family have become celebrity's for doing absolutely nothing worthwhile...ever.

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  35. L.O.L. Note to self, do not drink water while reading Stephanie's posts. Ouch! Hahahaha. Thank you for the laugh :)

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  36. I sometimes wonder if I spend more time looking at the reviews for things I have no desire to buy on Amazon than I spend on those for things I want to buy...it appears I have another of the latter to add to my list!

    Also, without prompting and just because, I feel I should add Julie Andrews on to the list of authors/actresses who are excellent. I loved, loved, loved Mandy and The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles.

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  37. The review is definitely entertaining! I had no idea there were more Kardashians- or that they had written a book. It is interesting how being a celebrity or in a celebrity family can help open doors...

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  38. The older three sisters wrote an adult fiction book "Doll House" a few years ago.

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