Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Things I've Learned from Reality TV

Hulu put the entire Real Housewives franchise on its site. I never thought I'd enjoy it but I started watching and couldn't stop.



Along the way, I've learned a few things. I thought I'd pass them on to you to save you from having to watch all 40 billion episodes to learn them yourself!



"Glamping" is a word. Definition: Camping like a Real Housewife. Which involves red wine, real dishes, and a multimillion-dollar cabin in the mountains.



There is a difference between a white wine glass and a red wine glass. I did not know this because I'm not rich. But mostly, I didn't know this because I don't drink wine constantly like some people.




Many, many, many rich people are actually poor. In fact, more than a few of the people participating in the Real Housewives franchise rent houses they can't afford to qualify to be on the show. Some go bankrupt. Some even overspend so much, they end up in jail. It's "keeping up with the Joneses" on hyperdrive.



There is such a thing as edible diamonds. I am proud to say I did not know this.



Rich people have a different vocabulary than we do. "Cheers" is a verb. As in, "Let's cheers to being reality show douchebags."



The Real Hotwives of Orlando is HILARIOUS, but only after you've seen the shows it's parodying.



Do you have any reality TV guilty pleasures?

75 comments:

  1. Put yourself in serious debt just for fifteen minutes of fame. Now that's having your priorities seriously out of whack.

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    1. Well...there are people volunteering for that one-way trip to Mars for 15 minutes of fame. They're willing to die for it.

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  2. Haha, this is hilarious for sure! Edible diamonds?? Gosh!!! I am not a fan of much of reality tv series here in India, except at times i watch some Singing or dancing show. Not a reality show, but these days, am hooked to Game of Thrones !

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    1. In about a month, I'm going to go all nutso for Big Brother for about three months. Then I completely forget about it for nine months. Not sure what the story is with my Big Brother addiction. I think I'm just fascinated with the way people react when trapped in a house together for months at a time!

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    2. Big Brother....another reason to love summer!

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  3. I've watched all of the housewives shows except Miami amd the Australia one and have picked up lots of words...LOL, like calling champagne 'champs.' There's a hilarious SNL parody of the Housewives featuring the Disney princesses. Google it!

    My fave reality show is Southern Charm. It's my favorite show ever!

    Steph, there's a lot more than two kinds of wine glasses (now you'll think I'm an alcoholic!)

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    1. Yeah, I saw the Disney parody...also before I watched the show! It's all much funnier once you've watched the show.

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  4. "Glamping" is about the only way you'd get me to go camping.

    I knew about the different wine glasses. I don't know why I know that because I own only one set of wine glasses - four funky blue glasses that hold any kind of wine I want. :)

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    1. Seems to me a glass is a glass! I guess that's part of the experience, though. I've never really gotten into all that stuff.

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  5. One thing I like about having Netflix like cable, I don't think there's many reality tv shows

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    1. Actually...Netflix has quite a few reality shows. It's an entire section on there. I think it's mostly home makeover type shows, though.

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  6. I don't watch reality tv and my iq thanks me lol but damn, I didn't know there were different glasses and edible diamonds. Maybe I'm missing out haha

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    1. I think reality TV lets us connect with real people. Unfortunately, many of the shows are strategically cast and edited so that there isn't much "reality" to them. There are casting agencies dedicated to getting people on reality shows. That sort of thing makes it not so real. The concept was great back when The Real World and Cops started it all, but once Hollywood took over and started trying to control it all, it lost its authenticity.

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  7. I have never seen The Real Housewives.. I do watch The Amazing Race .... but that's about it.... I have heard these housewife shows are very addictive :-)

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    1. Rachel and Brendan from Big Brother were on The Amazing Race last season? Or was it the season before? Rachel is about the most annoying Big Brother contestant ever, but I guess she makes for interesting reality TV! I wish they wouldn't recycle reality stars...there are enough interesting people who will do anything to be on TV. Show us new people, not the same ones over and over!

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  8. One of my quality pleasures is my enjoyment of certain reality tv shows - its Big Brother at the moment. Whilst aware of these ones I can't say I've ever watched them myself but I know my niece (24) is a big fan.

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    1. ^^^YAY! I'm rewatching last season right now in preparation for Season 17. I'm a bit of a fan... I'll sign up for the live feeds as soon as they're available. Last year was my first live feed season and it was an interesting experience. Rewatching it without live feeds, I realized people who didn't watch the feeds didn't realize just how arrogant and self-absorbed Caleb was, just how abusively Devon spoke to the women in the house, how horribly vapid Victoria was, etc. A LOT is edited out.

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  9. Quality? That should of course have read guilty.

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    1. It's all good! I wish they'd let us edit here.

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  10. I don't watch the housewife ones, but it's more because I don't have cable/satellite. I'd be all for glamping, and I did know about the wine glasses, but I learned that by watching some cooking shows. Heh. I do love some reality TV, such as The Amazing Race, Survivor, Big Brother, Master Chef, and Hell's Kitchen.

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    1. I didn't watch the housewife ones, either, until I got a Hulu Plus subscription and saw they were all on there. I'm not proud of it...but I did like the part of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills where we got to hang out with David Foster for a while (his wife is one of the wives--a fact he doesn't seem to be too excited about). That man wrote some of the best songs of the 80s and it was just so interesting to see a little bit of what his life is like.

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  11. Hahaha this is perfection!! So yesterday I was with my younger sister (she's 12) at the library, and when I went to get her from the MG section, I saw your books and I was like "I KNOW HER! Well, kind of..." and made my sister get the books. She's on 30 Days right now and LOVES it! It was so cool to see your books there, though, it made me so happy =)

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    1. That made me smile!!! Thank you! Someone mentioned my book isn't at B&N anymore and I pointed out that it's been four months and B&N doesn't keep books for long. Always something new coming out. My next book doesn't come out until next summer, so I'm in a weird in-between phase!

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  12. I've been known to use water glasses to drink wine here :) I guess that doesn't qualify me to be on reality TV :)

    All I know about reality TV is there seems to be a lot of shows on with it and I always wonder how we can get such a show going and be on TV.

    (I keep forgetting to say something, no we didn't get another dog, the puppy I mentioned in my last blog post is my son's/girlfriend's dog. I know what you mean about your parents comparing one corgi to another; I think we would do the same thing when/if we get another one. Koda was just so darn special to us, I can't imagine any dog coming close to him).

    betty

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    1. I don't drink wine, but if I did, it would probably be out of the tumblers I drink my water out of! I'm not very fancy, either. Just practical. I usually drink bottled water directly out of the bottle.

      All dogs find a place in our hearts and stay there...but I do worry that someday I'd get a dog I couldn't ever bond with. Then what are you supposed to do? That would suck!

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  13. Sorry to be so late getting back to you, Stephanie. I do find that having a little place away from the house, though only by a short distance, enables me to work :0)

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  14. I never got into any reality shows. Looks like I missed out on some fabulous trash. Did I say that out loud. Yes I did and for someone to go bankrupt to be on a show, well that's just trashy.

    Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺

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    1. Yeah, the people on Real Housewives aren't what you'd call the classiest people in the world! The ones that are classy use words like "champs" for champagne. Just annoying!

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  15. the only reality show i watch - and have for every season - is survivor. they don't wear make-up or jewels on the island. :)

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    1. Nope...and Hayden from Big Brother was on there! Another recycled reality star. I tried watching the season with Blair from The Facts of Life but I just couldn't do it...I'm more into the social part of Big Brother than the competitions. Most of the time I pay very little attention to the competitions. Survivor is mostly competition--not enough social stuff for me!

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  16. HA, Glamping. That is awesome. My best friend is obsessed with the Housewives shows and he'll tell me about episodes, it sounds hilarious! My only reality guilty pleasure is Laguna Beach and The Hills--I grew up watching it and could watch it every day, seriously. It is SO addicting. I also watch competition shows like American Idol and The Voice :)

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    1. I tried watching The Hills but I never could find the beginning online. There were spinoffs and I just got confused by where it all started!

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  17. I do watch a bunch. RHWONJ is my favorite.

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    1. I think the Beverly Hills one was my favorite...until the past season. It seemed like once they started bringing soap opera stars on, it got a little too cheesy. Orange County was where it all started and it was interesting to watch the first couple of seasons...it was more of a documentary--not very drama-filled at all.

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  18. Too funny. I will have to use "glamping" now.

    No, I can't remember the last one that I watched. I am so boring.

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    1. I don't know if I'll ever use glamping in a sentence (aside from this blog!).

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  19. I've never watched any of these Real Housewives shows, so I appreciate you doing the research for me. :) I generally don't like reality tv, but I have been caught by a few. The first several seasons of Project Runway had me hooked (which is odd because I'm so not a fashion person) and I also enjoy watching The Voice once it gets toward the middle of the season.

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    1. Haha, you're welcome! I always like singing shows like The Voice in the beginning. Once they get past the audition/selection process, I get bored.

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  20. yep, I watched HONEY BOO BOO and kinda liked it :) and also DANCE MOMS which I hated and loved at the same time :)

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    1. Okay--so explain to me how a woman who doesn't dance teaches a dance class? I don't get it. Dance teachers usually demonstrate the moves. There's no one there to demonstrate the moves but the kids somehow know them? That woman just stands there yelling at them, which doesn't seem very dance teacher-y to me. (Obviously you can tell I haven't seen much of the show!)

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    2. not only that she doesn't dance but she can't really move either :) Methinks she is fuelled by pure evil... She has tones of assistants who work with the kids... she just yells at them... evil Satan's minion she is.... But I love it when some of the moms get feisty and attack her :) Especially when one of them sued her :)

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  21. Oh I have never seen these gals except on Entertainment News etc.. I have heard that they place themselves in the poor house just to be noticed-sad eh? I knew about red and white wine glasses since I live in the middle of wine country and have taken tours. I watch The Amazing Race and my fav-Dancing With The Stars. I love Dancing especially the ballroom and I find it such a great show. Rumer Willis just one the mirrorball trophy

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    1. I can't remember which show or which season but one of the couples actually had a conversation about how their house was about to be taken from them because they couldn't afford to pay for it...and they'd only been on the show for a few months at that point. They only lasted one season, but through that I learned that it happens. The woman with the wine glasses above lost her husband to suicide because of what the show did to them financially and the struggles he was having trying to keep them afloat. He had major issues...but it's of note that the financial pressure related to being on these shows has actually led to someone's death.

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    1. We get to keep them secret if we want!

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  23. Edible diamonds? What is the calory count? I suspect that matters to lots of the participants.
    I thought that getting your cremated ashes turned into a diamond was odd enough. I don't think I would wear a processed piece of a love one...
    Reality shows don't do it for me. And I don't have control of the remote.

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    1. I do find it a little sweet that you can have your loved one's ashes put into a piece of jewelry...but it is odd to think of it as a diamond. I guess it means you're carrying them around with you, everywhere you go?

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  24. And last fact: how "real" is reality TV? :-)

    Greetings from London.

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    1. I think a lot of it is controlled by producers...and a LOT takes place in editing. But with Real Housewives, they admit they sit down at the start of each season and talk about what each housewife's "storyline" will be. I'm sure it's very similar to a Woody Allen or Robert Altman film...the producer sets the scene up and the "stars" just improvise. It's all acting, really, they're just playing themselves...amplified!

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  25. Oh my gosh, there are so many reality shows I have watched a few reality shows like survivors and and some others I can't even remember the names but it's been a while since I've watched any kind of reality shows.

    I had to google Reality Shows to see the endless list...

    I'll watch the news and I think that Blogger has side tracked me and that too is wearing out.

    As for proper wine glasses, I like to drink my wine in a nice sturdy wine glass and I'm not too particular about the proper glass. I'm not a pompous person but I like a good wine.

    Hugs,
    JB

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    1. Blogs are, in a way, the literary equivalent of a reality show!

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  26. I'm just not a reality TV show person but I can see how it could hook you in!

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  27. We do something pretty close to glamping, if the truth be told. For Thanksgiving, we rent a cabin in a Yogi Bear campground (that's a multi-million dollar lodge for us! Hey, it has its own bathroom WITH A TUB, and a real kitchen!). And we totally sip wine in real glasses around the campfire.

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    1. That sounds like my kind of camping. I love log cabins!

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  28. I'm not a reality show girl (or a show girl:) but I enjoyed your take on Real Housewives:)

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    1. I try to keep it fun! As I was watching the show, I was noting this stuff--most of it is from the Orange County group...thanks to Heather Dubrow. She's a great actress and very pretty, but extremely snobby.

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  29. I dislike realities shows. But it sounds pretty silly.

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    1. I think it's sad in a way that women are so cruel to each other...that's what those shows demonstrate, more than anything.

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  30. And I thought Pretty Little Liars made up glamping.

    I don't like reality shows. Unless there's some home decorating going on. Sigh. I miss Trading Spaces.

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    1. Probably so. I'm guessing not a single thing that is said or done on Real Housewives came from an original thought in any of their heads!

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  31. I stay away from reality shows. For some reason that I don't completely understand they bug me big time. Thanks for sharing. They are much more entertaining through someone else's eyes. :-)

    Anna from Elements of Writing

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  32. I'll bite, but not the diamonds. What's the difference between a red wine and a white wine glass? I am too poor to know. I don't watch reality TV. I don't think I even have guilty pleasures, unless cookies count.

    Love,
    Janie

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  33. I have no problem with people living rich extravagant lifestyles. What I do have a problem with is people who think they're better than others because they live that lifestyle.

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  34. I have always been proud of the fact that I don't watch reality tv so do not try and entice me into this one, especially since it has like five spin offs.
    I was a waitress for years so I know the differences between wine glasses, there are even champagne glasses (taller and thinner then wine glasses) so you don't have to be rich to know about the proper drink ware for wine.
    I feel so bad for people who's whole self worth is wrapped up in material things. It is really sad. So is a lot of the plastic surgery I have seen on the celebrities.

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  35. I've heard of this show, but have never seen it. I haven't watched reality TV in many years. It looks so fake and the participants usually annoy me.

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  36. I had no idea there were different glasses for red and white wine. Wow. Now I need to figure out which wine glasses I have. haha

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  37. I can't believe I'm going to admit this but my reality tv guilty pleasure is Dance Moms. I don't know why but all the drama that goes on in that show is funny. I also watch Deadliest Catch but that's it for reality tv for me.

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  38. Since we cut the cord to cable I miss The Little Couple. I tried watching Desperate Housewives but it bored me to tears. I like Survivor also!

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  39. For a while I was watching a show called "Auction Hunters," but in my defense, it was only 30 minutes, went very light on the drama, and was actually interesting. I've watched "Bar Rescue" a few times, but I had to bail as it was too ridiculous to be believed. Cheers!

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  40. I have a few that I still watch (Swamp People. Deadliest Catch, Axmen) but most of the others have fallen by the wayside, simply because they, IMHO, jumped the shark: Braxton Family, Mary Mary, The Millionaire Matchmaker, etc. etc. etc.

    I did pick up a couple of new ones though: The Willis Family and another little people oriented one.

    Father Nature's Corner

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  41. It's been a while since I've watched any real reality shows regularly, but I loved the Nick Kroll show. The parodies on Kroll were pitch perfect. I should probably check out Hotwives now :D

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  42. Lol, this post is so funny, especially with 'Cheers' as a verb. I watch one Reality TV show: MasterChef Australia (less ... uhm in-your-face than the American version). Used to watch The Voice but have gotten a little tired of it.

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  43. I have never seen the Real Housewives- but my friends all love it. For the longest time my husband and I only had one tv in our house- so we often had to agree on shows. They didn't make the cut. I do like to watch reality tv though- house shows, cooking shows, and competitions all suck me in. I also like my fair share of reality shows that others consider a waste of time- but something about them has me watching (Jersey Shore, MTV Challenge. etc.).

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