Monday, February 16, 2015

Why I Think Tom Cruise is Not Human

He never ages.



He divorces his wives once they reach the age of 33.




He chooses his wives by interviewing candidates.



He told his first wife he had to remain celibate to "maintain the purity of his instrument." He also had no (non-adopted) children with his first two wives and left Nicole Kidman while she was pregnant. She miscarried soon after.




Some blame Scientology. (What is UP with that religion anyway? Did they ever find the leader's missing wife that prompted Leah Remini to file a missing persons report? If not...HELLO? A woman's missing!!!)



Some say Tom Cruise is hiding a John Travolta-ish secret...



(By the way, it's 2014. If you're a celebrity and you're gay, nobody cares. Quit auditioning wives and just be yourself.)

I think there's a more otherworldly explanation. Something even Scientology might embrace. I think Tom Cruise isn't human. Is he a robot?



Maybe an alien?



Think about it. It would explain his Oprah meltdown, right?




And why the one "biological child" he has looks a lot like Katie. Notsomuch like him.



It makes sense, right?

109 comments:

  1. I've never thought about Tom Cruise much, other than enjoying most movies he has been in. As far as the life actors want to portray to the world... I take that with a grain if salt....

    Do you know what I think is sad... is that people still try to be what others want them to be... instead of being who the are... that is what can destroy us. In the process of not wanting to disappoint others, we end up disappointing ourselves more....

    Really good post Stephanie.♡

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    1. It's all tongue in cheek--but yeah, I'd say that's the overall point. Actors still put this crazy-fake image out to the world. None of us really know who any of those people really are. Not that we need to--but it's a shame they can't feel free to be themselves.

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  2. I think most people in Hollywood are certain he is gay, but since Scientology (it's a cult, not a religion) doesn't 'allow' it, he will never come out.

    Still doesn't explain his weirdness!

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    1. There was something that came out after that head guy's wife went missing that suggested Scientology provides a cover for those who are gay but want to hide it... Don't know why they'd need Scientology for that, but it is interesting that both he and John Travolta are two of the most famous members...

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  3. I enjoy his movies while thinking he's a nut case.
    Bijoux is right, Scientology is a cult. Maybe the number thirty-three has something to do with it. And if he's gay - well, that's his problem. I don't want to know anyway.

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    1. They said why "33" was significant...I do find it notable that he has people come in and audition for the chance to date him! I hope this time he just stops with that. Don't pretend to date women. Just be YOU. Seems if he does get married again, the woman will get a little nervous as she starts to approach 33!

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  4. You now show that you're an investigative reporter! But I could care less what he is or what he thinks. If it is a good movie, great, but he is an actor and it sounds like a pretty sorry human being, but maybe you're right, maybe he's not human.

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    1. I am an investigative reporter! Only if you need someone to come up with crazy theories, though. I'd be one of those people out there looking for Big Foot! For those who do believe aliens walk among us, though...they probably should check out Tom Cruise first. The man seriously does not age...

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  5. An alien! Really! That would be cool. It explains so much. I think my fifth grade teacher was an alien too.

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    1. I had a few alien teachers, I'm pretty sure.

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  6. everybody in Hollywood knows he and David Beckham are lovers :) That goes for Clooney and Pitt too :)

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    1. You have the scoop. Wait...Clooney and Pitt are a couple or Clooney and Pitt are separately gay? I just finished watching the first season of Roseanne...I had no idea George Clooney was Roseanne's boss!

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    2. Clooney and Pitt = luvers :)

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    3. This is not something I enjoy knowing! :-)

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  7. He's also not human because he's from outer space :) maybe that's why he's in so many sci-fi movies!

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    1. Perhaps that's true! Or maybe it's in the Scientology rules and regulations...don't they believe aliens came to Earth and left their bad spirits or something?

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  8. I like some of his movies but he sure does seem like a nutjob in real life. Scientology is a cult and it is just a way to make $$$. If you ever want to get rich, create a religion. The sheep will follow.

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    1. Apparently so! Although any time I've been in a church that was money-hungry, it's been readily apparent and I've wanted to get away quickly. You can tell when they're genuinely raising money to help others and support mission trips and the community. There's a slimy feeling when you're in one that pressures its members to give... Mostly because every single sermon is about tithing. I've actually been in churches like that!

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  9. You're on to something. You'll become famous if you get to the bottom of this.
    Hugs Julia

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    1. I have a feeling nobody will ever really know what's really going on with Scientology. They make sure of it.

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  10. You made some valid points about him. Honestly, I was glad Katie Holmes got away from him myself.

    betty

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    1. Yeah, hopefully she got whatever she wanted to get out of the situation...

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  11. You are absolutely right he hasn't aged a bit – how come? That is so not fair! :-)

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    1. I would say plastic surgery but if that's the case, it's the best plastic surgery ever!

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  12. Hahaha I love this! I'm always thinking this about him. I had a friend at Conan whose dad knew Travolta and said he hit on his dad! Not surprising ..and I am a huge king of queens fan and could never understand how Leah remini could be involved since she seemed fairly normal. Just so jealous of the no aging aspect. How does cruise do it?!

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    1. It's spooky. Did you see Jon Bon Jovi last night? Gray hair but his face looked pretty much the same. Some men just don't really age in their faces until they get really old, I guess?

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  13. I agree. Nobody cares if he's gay. I wish people would stop trying to be some sort of mystical enigma that the world just can't get enough of. Movie stars are the worst. Being gay went from being taboo, to being cool, to now being normal. Drop it, Tom. :)

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    1. I think it's normal for younger generations but these older actors didn't get the memo. I do wonder what kind of life someone like Kelly Preston has, though. She's a beautiful woman...why would she settle for that?

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  14. Not a fan of Tom, but whatever. This makes as much sense as anything else that upchucks from Hollyweird. I'm just saying.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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    1. It is a strange, strange place. The pressure to keep up appearances makes people do crazy things.

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  15. yeah, not my cup of T. :)

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  16. I've thought about this for about 27 seconds and decided i don't really care.

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    1. I don't really either. Do any of us? Just in fun!

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  17. Everything I hear about him in real life makes me not care for him (as much as I can not care for a person I've never met and never will). Though I do like his acting! I loved Live. Die. Repeat. That movie was awesome, and Knight and Day w/Cameron Diaz was so funny. But I only tend to like his recent stuff. I don't like the football agent one, or the racing/flying (can't remember what it's called) movie that everybody thought he was gorgeous in.

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    1. I haven't seen Live. Die. Repeat. Sounds like an interesting title!

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  18. It makes total sense to me! He's always creeped me out. We were watching Jerry Maguire the other day and as much as I loved that movie when it came out, I couldn't enjoy it now that I know what a weirdo he is.

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    1. It does change your perspective. But I think the thing with Oprah was his effort to "act" really excited about how "in love" he was with Katie. He just went a bit overboard... There's a story behind all that, I'm sure.

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  19. Never cared for Tom Cruise. I did like Collateral with Jamie Foxx. But even a blind squirrel can find a nut once in a while.

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    1. I thought he was cute when I was a teenager and saw Risky Business.

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  20. I'm surprised he still has a career after all the weird stuff he's done. I personally never saw the appeal, even before he got really weird.

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    1. I think when I was 14 or so and he was dancing around his living room in his underwear, there was a bit of an appeal there... Probably similar to whatever it is kids like about Justin Bieber!

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  21. He's definitely an odd duck! We watched The Giver last night and it was interesting to see Katie on there--I sure hope she manages to get her life back after everything!

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    1. I always did like her. I've seen her in a couple of movies. She definitely has screen presence.

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  22. Yup, I'm thinking robot or android of some kind. Maybe something's wrong with the way he's programmed. (Maybe he has a "restart" button? That's the first thing I try when my computer doesn't work.)

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    1. LOL, that's it, Shelley! He was definitely built on a Friday or Monday, if so!

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  23. Ha! I love it! And, yes, I've wondered the exact same thing. He's completely unreal. My favorite line of your post, though? "By the way, it's 2014. If you're a celebrity and you're gay, nobody cares. Quit auditioning wives and just be yourself." SO true -- and hilarious, too!

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    1. Thank you! I am glad younger generations won't have to face the kind of stigma the generations above ours did. I've been watching TV shows from the early 90s and it's amazing how far we've come since then.

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  24. I would believe he is alien -- making the human race look better if he is. At the very least he is a FREAK and not a very nice one at that!

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    1. I remember reading about Nicole Kidman miscarrying right after he left her and that always bugged me. She was supposedly very distraught about him leaving her.

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  25. Haha! I vote for alien. Maybe no planet will claim him, though. :)

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    1. Only whatever planet L. Ron Hubbard was from!

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  26. I've got a love/hate relationship with Tom Cruise. On one hand, I love many of his movies. On the other, I'm pretty sure I'd turn my back on the day to day, normal Tom Cruise. He has issues.

    The "divorce them at 33" part - hmmmmm.... Maybe he is gearing up to start a whole new cult.

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    1. 33 is an odd number... There's a 10-year thing in California I know that a lot of celebs try to avoid. After ten years they have to pay alimony or something? I can't remember...

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  27. LOL, Stephanie!
    I stopped liking Tom Cruise after he became strange. And I was so upset when he left Nicole Kidman! Broke my heart. But I am glad she has found happiness again.
    I heard about the interviews he put his potential partners through. So weird!! I never got Scientology. So weird!!

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    1. Looks like Nicole Kidman found her a good one!

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  28. It does make sense now that you mention it. ;)

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    1. Maybe all our celebs are aliens. It would explain Kanye. The entire Kardashian family, too...

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    2. Bwa! Too funny! And about Cruise: I like his movies but ever since he jumped on Oprah's couch I've been giving him some serious side-eye...

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  29. You've nailed it, Stephanie. He's not human.

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    1. I think many mega-stars are a type of "human" non-narcissists will never understand.

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  30. Oh yes! True! Perfect sense now that I read this!

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  31. I love his acting. He's amazing in movies. I can do without trying to understand his personal life. There's a lot going on there. :)

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    1. We're probably better off not knowing about our celebs. I saw something on TV yesterday that resonated--in the golden age of movies, movie stars had a mystique because people didn't know anything about them. Now we know way too much.

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  32. Hilarious post! Only one more thing to add--Tom's perfectly centered front tooth.

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    1. Now I'm going to be staring at that every time I see him!

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  33. oh, i am not sure about Tom Cruise. i don't know where to start. i loved him in Top Gun and Cocktail. he was freakin' hot ... i was totally crushing on him. but now i don't like it. why? well, as a kid i would have loved to marry him ... but now that he has married Katie Holmes (she is pretty much my age, a bit younger) he needs to not marry for a while and just be. i think his Mission Impossible was a good movie too... but nothing lately has really caught me as a great movie. i need to chill and just enjoy his late age. ha. ha!! ( :

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    1. I was crushing on him around that era, too! He definitely made a two-hour movie nice to watch back then. I think it was worse because we watched Katie grow up on Dawson's Creek (whether you watched it or not, she was everywhere at that time). It seemed like he was marrying a child even though if we'd never seen her before, it wouldn't have seemed that way at all.

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  34. I've often wondered, since men shave everyday, if that gives them an advantage regarding face skin removal...Okay, maybe that didn't make sense, after all.

    Cruise seems to be narcissistic. He overvalues a woman, then once she begins to assert her life, he devalues her. (My two cents.)

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    1. I've known women who shave their faces for that very reason.

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  35. He looks a bit effeminate to me . . . always thought so
    . . . and does not know how to treat a lady.
    I cannot understand how any real man could do what he did to Nichole . . .
    Just my opinion of course . . . :) Eddie

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    1. I think part of the problem is that all the men in Hollywood get facials all the time and have their skin constantly perfected. They also get manicures. Most of the men I know wouldn't do something like that.

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  36. Love him as an actor...but as a person I'm indifferent to him. :)

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    1. Me too, really. Except for learning the secret to how he never ages.

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  37. OMGosh, this post was a hoot. And you've got to admit, doing interviews for a spouse is a unique approach. I had no idea Nicole Kidman was pregnant when he left. What's up with that? Tom certainly isn't run of the mill. You may be on to something with the robot, alien thing.

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    1. I guess that's what dating is, in a way...we just don't have our agents send them over!

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  38. What an interesting theory. Robot Tom Cruise would certainly explain a lot! :)
    ~Jess

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  39. I thought we all agreed he sprang up from the bottom of the ocean?

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    1. You know, that sounds even MORE interesting!

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  40. Yep. He seems like a robot to me. I'm sure there's some big story behind his break up with Nicole Kidman. I finally had to overcome my dislike of him to watch the movie Reacher as it's one of my favourite series by Lee Child. He wasn't too bad, but he's no Jack Reacher. Casting alert!!

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    1. It did make me wonder if it had to do with her being pregnant... When someone leaves someone right after she finds out she's pregnant, you have to wonder! I don't keep up with Hollywood anymore but that was during the time I read a LOT of entertainment magazines, if you can't tell!

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  41. Scientology has their fingers in many pies and their pockets run deep. It is actually scary. When my ex used to work for Radio Shack, he found out scientology had infiltrated this store and many others. Suddenly, my ex had to jump through so many hoops to show why he could still do his job and had to get gold stars (exceeded the monthly amount he was to sell). If he received 3 red dots in a row( sold less than he was supposed to plus less than the previous month), he was warned. You should watch Bowfinger which is a great take on this "religion". NO they have not found this woman yet and it is not even talked about which tells you how much power this place has. As for Tom-I like him as an actor but he is a freakazoid who needs to always be in control and hide his antennae on his head:)

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    1. Whoa...that's pretty scary! I've been in jobs before where I saw the corrupting influence of power... When anyone gets too much power like that, it can get very scary and it seems nobody ever wants to stop them. Look what some of our biggest corporations get away with. The media will occasionally report on them, but if they lay low everyone just moves on to something else.

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  42. I wonder if he's from the same planet as Dick Clark - he never aged either.

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    1. But then it caught up with him all at once. Watch out, Tom!

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  43. After watching MIB, I KNEW Tom was an alien. Yep.

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    1. I forgot about that! Michael Jackson was DEFINITELY an alien. He didn't die--he was called back to his mother ship...

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  44. I think you're right. Or maybe I'm just not a fan. Haha. He sure is mysterious.

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  45. Hilarious! I didn't realize he had divorced his wives all at the relatively same age and that he interviewed them first . . . um, kind of creepy.

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    1. Yeah...none of it seems very genuine. I didn't buy the Katie Holmes thing at all. Nicole Kidman, yes...but when he and Katie were together at functions something seemed very forced about it.

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  46. Nothing about Tom Cruise makes sense. Including why people still go to his movies.

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    1. I haven't seen one of his movies in years!

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  47. I heard he was dating Lindsey Lohan. Can't wait to see how that one ends!

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    1. See? That's just WEIRD. They don't fit at all. He was dating that redhead from That 70s Show the last I heard... Dude needs to just retire from fake dating. Nobody cares at this point!

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  48. Tom Cruise is a mystery. There is something odd with him. I think he's an alien. ;)

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    1. I agree...something isn't quite right!

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  49. He is a complete oddity. I watched an interview he did with Matt Lauer and it totally creeped me out about him. He's a real creeper. Could be alien for sure.

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  50. Thought provoking views, could be many reasons.

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  51. I guess he's our generation's Dick Clark. He'll age. Eventually.

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  52. Something is definitely off with him...and don't even get me started on that religion.

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  53. I read that a new documentary about Scientology is out, and it focuses on Tom Cruise and how they've manipulated and used him. I'm sorry. I don't know the title, but it might be nominated for the Best Documentary Academy Award.

    Love,
    Janie

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  54. Oh wow, this post made me laugh! He does look like he never ages O.o and it is pretty bizarre to choose wives by interview and then well, divorce them at age 33. The religion is a completely strange one >.> Hmm... looks like something might be going on behind the scenes like you mentioned!

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  55. Such a fun post!
    I just saw a movie with Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt. I still do like many of his movies (after they hit the cable stations), but, personally it seems he's become very strange. I want to see the new documentary about Scientology, what a crazy cult, eh?

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  56. Hilarious yet rings true. Great post Stephanie!

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  57. Hilarious yet rings true. Great post Stephanie!

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  58. Oh my goodness, you might be right! Lol. Nothing about this guy makes sense to me. (Including why people find him attractive.) ;-)

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