Monday, July 28, 2014

Are You Invisible?

My mom is enjoying post-retirement by doing what she loves best: writing. Friday, she posted a very thought-provoking blog about seniors and invisibility.

This is my wonderful mom:



She's noticed a phenomenon that happens as you get older. You become invisible. Where once you inspired looks like this...




You now blend into the crowd.


I don't think it's an age thing. I think there are only a certain percentage of people who stand out, depending on the person doing the looking. Think about it. When you walk into a restaurant, which people get your attention?


A beautiful woman in bright clothing?


Someone with an unusual hair color?


Or the young people?


Are most of us invisible?

Be sure to weigh in over on my mom's blog!


60 comments:

  1. I think most people blend. I'd probably notice a beautiful woman first, but not a really young one.
    And your mother does not look like a senior citizen at all.

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  2. I do think that most of us are invisible but that's a good thing rather than a bad one. I don't want to be noticed everywhere I go! The paparazzi has been following me for years ;)

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  3. I've been retired for nearly 20 years now...took an early retirement. I don't think it's being invisible...it's how you carry yourself and your smile, etc. I get looks when I enter a room...but it's NOT because I'm a beauty!

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  4. I agree with Alex, your mom looks more like your sister by the picture. I have four daughters and strolling next to them I'm totally invisible.

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  5. Many times, getting older is not about being physically invisible. It's more that your opinions and preferences just don't matter to the world anymore.

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  6. I think it's definitely an age/beauty thing. We're trained to look for beauty, either in the world or the people around us. The media doesn't help by promoting only a certain kind of beauty, which is invariably young.

    That's not to say older people don't get looked at, but if you were exceptionally handsome or beautiful in youth it's probably a shock not to get the looks you once did.

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  7. to me senior people ain't invisible because I tend to go shopping at the time of the day when they like to go out so I mostly see them and no youngsters LOL Which is why I sometimes have a feeling I live in a city for retired people :)

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  8. Thanks, Stephanie! And thank you to everyone for the encouragement at this new stage of my life! I look forward to reading other blogs--as soon as I figure out how to "follow" them.

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  9. Like your Mom, I feel the whole invisible thing. Recently, I've had incidents where I must have actually used my cloak of invisibility so well that I almost ceased to exist.

    My favorite rant is when I go into an establishment, money in hand, and can't get a rep to assist me. Meanwhile, they just about pounce on every thirty-something in the place, and don't make a sale. :-\

    Following your MOM! After all...she is a flipster. We have to hang tight.
    Cherdo
    www.cherdoontheflipside.com

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  10. As an introvert, I'm happy to be invisible. LOL.

    But I think your mom is on to something. As I get older, I find on looks alone I'm not noticed as much anymore. Ageism is a real thing. But we're compensated, hopefully, by gaining some wisdom along the way. :)

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  11. Not everyone is going to notice everyone as they look for different things and depends on where you are as well. The crazy drunk yelling about the world ending will get noticed by everyone, the naked dude running down the road will. Some celebrity probably will, but other than something or someone that stands out like that all comes down to taste.

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  12. Hi Stephanie,

    I shall check out your mother's blog. Sounds fascinating.

    I'm now considered a somewhat older dude. However, I can be invisible when it suits me. I can also get huge amount of attention due to my zaniness. I have a lot of fun with folks of all ages.

    Older dude is now going skateboarding! :)

    Gary

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  13. Maybe but sometimes you just have to stand out

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  14. Hi Stephanie, I would notice you....
    When I go somewhere I'd rather not be noticed. I like to blend in and it's not a hard thing to do theres days as everyone in the crowds are walking with their full attention onto their smart phone. I wonder how they don't get run over crossing the street.

    I don't go to restaurants much since my diet is quite restricted except for a small local restaurant for a specific breakfast that I can safely eat. I'm a regular there so I don't feel invisible.

    Hugs,
    JB

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  15. I think that most of us are invisible, and that the ones that want to stand out, do. It all comes down to how you present yourself, and what kind of (if any) attention you want to attract.

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  16. Your mom made great points. As I commented on her post, I think age-ism is rampant in our culture. I see it all the time at my place of work.

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  17. i think folks with flare do get noticed. the only flare i wear is my smile. :)

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  18. What's important to us changes as we get older. Some people are comfortable being invisible and some people want to be noticed.

    If I'm noticed, I want it to be for something I'd done and accomplished, not for what I look like.

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  19. Wait, with the exception if I were single...

    That would change things. ;)

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  20. I think it depends on if you stand out or not. Most people do blend in, but dress an older person in young folks' clothes and everyone will notice. Everyone!

    You and your mother are beautiful.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  21. Your mom looks really sweet.
    I like the multi color hair. Must have taken a long tim to get it like that.

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  22. I'm invisible for the most part, but because I choose to be. When I had blue or red or green or purple or orange hair, people noticed me more. Now, I'm perfectly happy being a fly on the wall, watching others and analyzing their reactions. My husband calls me stalker...

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  23. I think it's more about how a person carries themselves/dresses, then an age thing :)

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  24. Unless you do stand out, people always blend I think. Bright colours always make me remember someone, especially when it comes to hair. (I kind of dyed mine lavender a while ago, my poor hair.)

    I don't think you become invisible when you get older, it's more other peoples opinions on older people, if you get what I mean, some people just don't respect older people with more wisdom. ;)

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  25. I think most people blend in...I'm not a girl to blend in but with age we might not have much choice :-)

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  26. Your mom looks great and she asks a great question. We are often noticed when we don't want to be and when we do-we go unnoticed. My mom would say-"who wants to see me? I am old, I drive a beat up car, I am on a basic pension so i have no money. I am the most free as no one wants a piece of me"

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  27. This is something I hadn't really thought about (when it comes to myself). When I'm anywhere, I typically notice the people who seem like they are trying not to be seen, because then I wonder what kind of secrets they could possibly be hiding, and of course, the wheels of a story start spinning in my head.

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  28. I think I'd rather blend then stand out. Lol

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  29. I'm following your mom now. If you misbehave, I'm gonna tell.

    Love,
    Janie

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  30. I hate attention, so I'm fine being invisible.

    I mean, acknowledge me if I'm trying to order food and such, but other than that, I'm good.

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  31. As a writer, I notice pretty much everyone. When it comes to the very young, the thing I've been noticing lately is a lot of bare butt cheeks hanging out! The '80s had its not-so-brilliant fashion moments too, but I've been honestly shocked by some of the current outfits on my local bus.

    One thing that is really cool about my city is its diversity. I love to watch the East Indian women with their gorgeous, brightly-colored clothes and adorable children, or the African women with their elaborate hairstyles. The Aboriginal women with their babies in strollers. I see people of all ages covered with tattoos and plenty of seniors--both healthy and strong and those who are struggling.

    Sometimes I'd like to feel invisible, but with my bright red hair, that isn't going to happen any time soon. :)

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  32. I am invisible. Which is fine. And I people watch everything - and everyone.
    Your mama looks wonderful. As do you.

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  33. Wow, Stephanie! Your mother is beautiful and looks so young. I can't imagine her ever being invincible.
    We were just talking about this a couple of months ago about how my grandmother (she is 84) doesn't really get to put her two cents in as much as she did before. Is it because she is older and we don't value her opinions as much anymore? Well, my sisters and I made a promise to have my grandmother tell us stories whenever we have family gatherings. In doing so, we can make sure she never feels invincible=)

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  34. Hi, sweetie girl...first off, thanks for stopping by and leaving a sweet comment. Next, your mom is beautiful...but then, you already knew that. :)
    Oh, dear..I am sooo olden...and I don't WANNA be invisible. I think the situation I am in right now keeps me 'out front" because we live right by our son, his sweet wife, and 3 grandgirls. They are in and out and I love that. They, along with my other grandgirls, keep me up on fashion, tech stuff, and I love every minute with them all. :)
    Going to visit with your mama.

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  36. Oh, I love that rainbow hair! I tend to notice the best dressed people. Hmm...what does that say about me?! =0

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  37. Invisibility has its ups and downs. I can like it or dislike it, depending on my mood. :)

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  38. I hopped on over. Your mom had a great post.

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  39. That's awesome that your mom blogs. I think most of us blend. But I think it also has to do with how we change when we get older. We think about and focus on different things. When we're young, we focus more on ourselves and others. Now our thoughts are elsewhere, unless something really catches our eye (like for the reasons you mentioned!) :)

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  40. I'll head over to your mom's after I leave a comment. I think at this point of my life (mid 50s) I want to blend in :) I have to admit I am a people watcher so I tend to notice pretty much anyone that comes into the room if I have a good advantage spot at restaurants, etc.

    betty

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  41. Interesting. I've always been invisible.

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  42. I think it really depends on how we present ourselves. I notice that when I am feeling bold and outgoing I get more attention then when I just am having a blah day. The person I am doesnt change but the way I present myself does which alters how much I get noticed.

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  43. I think most of us are, but confidence and the way we carry ourselves draws the eye.

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  44. Hm. Very interesting. I think that can definitely be true for some but really at any age too. I kinda do a mix depending on the situation. I'm good with blending in though :)

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  45. This is definitely food for thought. My mom is older but she is gorgeous (lucky girl) so she seems to get noticed all the time but she often says how she feels invisible too. I honestly don't think she notices that people notice her. So..are we really invisible or are we just not paying attention to how much attention we are receiving ourselves if someone else is receiving more?

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  46. Stephanie, I think this is indeed a though-provoking post. I find myself thinking about my recent interactions, and I think that within a business/corporate environment, it's the more experienced folks that seem to get the most attention. I look to my manager to help guide me, share words of wisdom, and ease our worries.

    My mom is a firecracker, between the two of us, everyone pays her the most attention. She just grabs a hold of it, tells her wild elaborate stories, and everyone just laughs and listens. I definitely agree with you in that it "depends". Depends on the individual and the situation.

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  47. Interesting thoughts. Yes, I think really attractive people do stand out in a crowd, as do really eccentric ones. Your mom looks great!

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  48. Being a person of color, I usually stick out like a sore thumb. Often, I'm the only non-white person at a huge gathering. It's also probably because I live in Missouri.

    If I lived in Chicago, California, Texas, or NY, it probably wouldn't be the case. LOL

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  49. Being shy most of my life, blending in was never something I worried about. I'd happily be the fly on the wall reading the book. Though now, with books for sale- now I need to be noticed!

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  50. Funny. When I was a teenager, (You know, back in the Dark Ages.) my best friend and I used to say WE were invisible. We giggled and acted silly about it, but when we were waiting to place our order at the dime store counter, clerks ignored us to wait on other people (older people) who came in after we did. Of course, we weren't exactly assertive, either. But I found it striking that your mother feels invisible now. I did then, but I don't now. I'm still polite, but I don't mind speaking up for myself now, either, usually with a touch of humor. I don't mind blending into a crowd, but I refuse to be ignored.

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  51. So great blogging talent runs in your family, huh?

    Off the top of my head, I'd say she was onto something, but that it is a variety of factors involved. I am on the way over to your mom's place to read.

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  52. I usually try to be invisible when out and about, so I don't usually think about it all that much. But it is definitely a new perspective from someone who is getting older. Interesting to consider...

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  53. Sometimes, blending in with the crowd is not such a horrible thing. Living in Japan, I felt like a celebrity: Tall White Guy. I really couldn't go much of anywhere without being noticed. It's exhausting after a while. The occasional jaunts into the more cosmopolitan neighborhoods of Tokyo were wonderful. I loved it when people would look right through me.

    As a teacher, I worry about the kids - especially girls - who work at being invisible.

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  54. When I was young I wanted to stand out, but now I just want to blend in. I think anyone can stand out depending on who's there. Sometimes I get noticed because my hair is up or down or I'm wearing interesting jewelry...random things.

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  55. I agree. Most of us are invisible. I am noticeable because of my super long hair.

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  56. Im not worry about be invisible haha!
    I don't think so much in it.
    Years ago always worry me when I arrived a party! Now I. More relax and happy!
    Love your mom look amazing:)

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  57. I love how you ended with the young lady/ old woman pic.

    Sometimes people can opt to make themselves more invisible. And some go the other way with that.

    I don't know that age is the issue. I can think of a few celebrities over 50 who could get extra attention. (Steven Tyler, Betty White, etc.)

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