(Wal-Mart did that cake. Cool, huh?)
As I sat there, watching everyone hug this woman goodbye, I thought back on all the people I've seen come and go in my 18 years working in state government. At my advanced age of 40 I now have a wisdom that I didn't have when I was 23 and starting out. In that era most people left for new jobs -- now with all these baby boomers hitting retirement age, it seems almost EVERYONE is leaving the workforce for good.
When I was 23, it never occurred to me while we were eating that goodbye cake that this was someone I'd never see again. Ever. It was only after 18 years of goodbyes that I came to realize that these people leave...and they're gone. Occasionally you'll think of them and maybe even miss them. But there's no running into them at the supermarket or passing them on the street. They just vanish into the night.
We spend a great deal of our lives at work. 37.5 hours a week in my case. Even if your workplace is extremely strict, you'll still occasionally bond with your co-workers at, say, the company Christmas party or when your boss goes out of town. But most of us don't walk into work every day and plop down and work all day without speaking to the person in the cubicle next to us. We tell stories over coffee or by the water cooler. We stop by someone's cubicle on the way to the restroom. We might even go to lunch with some of these people.
The first group I worked with were artsy, creative types. I was there six years and felt VERY close to my co-workers (for better or worse!). Leaving was difficult but I had a couple of friends I knew I'd stay in touch with. And I did...for a while. I had another, short-lived job where I met some...interesting people that I really didn't speak to at all after I left. Then came the department I'm with now. I've been here ten years (longest job of my life!) and this time I'm the one watching everyone come and go. SO many people...and I remember their goodbye parties. It never really occurred to me until yesterday that as I'm saying goodbye to each one of these people, that's it. I'll never see that person again. That makes me a little sad.
Oh, you can try to stay in touch but is it ever really the same? When you work with someone, you're spending eight hours a day in the same space. (More or less!) You have a common bond. When one of you leaves, it can feel a little like you're breaking that bond...but all too quickly, it seems the hole your absence left is filled with other people, new memories. You're missed, sure, but all too soon, you're forgotten.
Too introspective? Probably. But I work in a building where I'm one of the FEW people under 50. I'm surrounded by baby boomers, all of whom are planning vigorously for retirement, many within the next 2-4 years. As I look around, I feel a little sad about that. Unless I leave, I'll be watching each of them go -- saying goodbye, one at a time. And knowing, as I hug them goodbye, I'll likely never see them again.
24 comments:
This reminds me of graduating college - you all say you'll keep in touch, but you very rarely do. As you said in the blog, it's never the same . . . although facebook has made things a whole lot easier these days!
Thanks. Now I'm depressed.
I know exactly what you mean though, it seems like we never stay in touch like we intend to and it's impossible not to get close to co-workers. We're with them as much as we are with our families!
Steph: Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving a wonderful story. I am now following you, and invite you to follow me as well. Thanks again.
I used to move around a lot in my teens and 20's and never really tried to stay in contact with people. I threw away many good friendships. There's only one person who I'm still in regular contact with other than my old schoolfriends, and that's down to her sheer tenacity rather than anything I did. Of course, now I'm older I wish I hadn't been so hasty. It's sad to say goodbye to people.
Yay!!! This means some really good jobs will be available soon... finally! :)
It's always hard to say good bye. It's true when it comes to the work place, that you don't often keep in touch with those people. The good thing, I guess, about people retiring, it will open up jobs for all those grads who can't get work.
Oh, yeah, and really cool cake!
When things change and people shift around, I like going back to the idea that people come into you life when you need then and leave when they have done their part. If you don't keep in touch with your co-workers, then perhaps it was just their time to leave.
I'm not retiring, but I so identify with this post as I say goodbye to all my coworkers tomorrow. It hasn't fully hit me yet...so strange!
Workplace relationships are varied but in general you are correct. Coworkers can get so close that they become "work husband/wife". When I left my job after almost 15 years, I realized I knew alot of people there and it was a very large hospital. That was tough but I think change can be good.
Switching jobs as often as I do, I often hear "why should I get to know you, you're going to be gone soon?" I'm sad for people if that's the way they think but it's their loss.
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Goodbyes are never fun and even if there a million and one ways to stay connected, people still grow apart. Sigh...
This is very philosophical Stephanie. A good blog. You know, isn't it like that with anyone we meet - we may never see them again. Its like putting your finger in a bowl of soft custard - when you take it out the hole fills in. - Dave
I KNOW! Isn't it depressing? It's really hard to stay in touch even with facebook and email and texting and all that. People come and people go. It's sad but pretty much how it seems to go.
I work at a community college and at least half of our staff are within ten years of retirement. Three of the 7 in my office are already at retirement age but continue working for their own reasons. I replaced someone who retired. People ask me about her sometimes, but we never met and she apparently cut off all ties the day she left.
being a boomer myself..I retired then started working again in a different field..you miss the interaction with the people you work with....
I know how you feel. There are those who leave whose advice and expertise I miss. I happen to work in a cube farm where I don't know many people. The one woman that I do socialize with, we grew apart after her move to another row of cubes. This is a foriegn concept to me. I am still hanging out with my friends from my previous job! When I leave here, I doubt there will be so much as an email or potluck. I think some relationships are meant to be shallow. maybe they leave room for the ones that really matter?
Aw it is sad. Sort of like every time I moved out of a house or residence at University. I liked many of my housemates, but it was never the same after I moved out.
It is sad, and yet happy too, because we get the chance to meet more people.
:-)
That is so sad.
Sadly, I've never been in a workplace that long, to see someone leave and never come back.
I've said goodbye from a lot of jobs, though. It's always sad.
At the moment, I'm still a SAHM, who might return to work in about six months or so, and I'm very nervous to go back out there!!!
This is very sad. How sweet of you to notice these people. Maybe parts of them can live in a story you will write.
I can totally understand where you are coming from. People in my department leave all the time (either to get a "real" job or transfer to the department they really want to work in (after a position opens up.) I hate it for 2 reasons. 1. I question why do I not want to leave, is something wrong with me for not wanting a "real" job? and 2. Crap! I miss them. Now I have to get to know new people.
thanks for stopping by my blog :)
Yes, I guess you could stay in touch and so on. But this was your common ground. this was your life together, so I understand that one never really stay in touch. Sad!
I know EXACTLY what you mean! I've had these same thoughts, both when I've attended people's goodbye parties and when I myself have been the one leaving. Sometimes life can seem so transient.
You are just far sweeter than I. I don't feel much sorrow at saying goodbye to people I wasn't super super tight with. And I I was tight I always lie to myself and say we'll keep in touch. No sadness involved on either count.
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